To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
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I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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