She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
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I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
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Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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