dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize