party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
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i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude. I can hear the air.
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