Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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