I seem to have left my pride at pride
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize