Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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