We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize