I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize