Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
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I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
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Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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