Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize