Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize