I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize