I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize