I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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