Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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