Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize