I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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