i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This baby is an asshole
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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