Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize