we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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