he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize