Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize