just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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