she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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