I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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