I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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