I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize