PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize