I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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