The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize