Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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