theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
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Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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