kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize