My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
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I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
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Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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