it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
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i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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