brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
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The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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