He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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