I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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