Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
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Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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