Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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