MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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