we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize