Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
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You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
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I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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