The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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