This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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