So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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