I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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