I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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