Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize